Love, Peace, and Nappy-ness

If You're Nappy and You Know It!!

2011-08-04T15:17:00.001-05:00

I recently asked my nine year old daughter Journee would her feelings be hurt if someone called her hair nappy? Without hesitation she said no. I asked her why? She smiled at me and said, “Because it IS nappy! I’m a nappy girl!” Then we laughed and gave each other a high five.

I’ve always taught my girls that a “nap” is nothing but a really tight curl. So for us, nappy is not a bad word. It’s not derogative or hurtful. As a matter of fact, it has become a very positive and empowering word. We’ve fully embraced the word and made it our own. We proudly call ourselves “Nappy Girls”.

I teach my girls to embrace the hair that God has given them. We work to find out what hairstyles and products work best for their individual hair textures. I've also taught them to respect each other’s differences and to try not to compare themselves to one another or anyone else.

I want my girls to define what is beauty for themselves. I want Journee to know for herself that she is beautiful with her cocoa skin, almond eyes, and yes, nappy hair. I also want Shaia to know that she also is beautiful with her butterscotch complexion, dimples, and nappy hair. I don’t want them to stress about trying to change or overly enhance anything about themselves. I want them to be comfortable in their own skin and with their naturally, nappy hair.

Is Olive Oil Better Than Coconut Oil on Hair? | eHow.com

2011-02-23T22:47:00.000-06:00

I have been slowly moving towards using completely natural products on my hair and especially on my daughters for many reasons. The main reason being that I'd like for our hair to be its healthiest. I'm also interested in natural products for economic and accessibility reasons as well. I'm really excited about the idea of simply going to my kitchen and whipping up my own hair products when needed. We are currently using a mixture of extra virgin olive oil and 100% pure aloe vera gel to twist our hair. I've been really pleased with the results. The first thing I noticed is the shine. Unlike the dullness caused by many products, our mixture made our hair shiny, which I love. I also appreciated not having to add any wax or styling gel in order for the twists to hold. Yet, our hair remained soft enough for me to untwist one day and then retwist it another. There wasn't any of the stiffness or build up that wax and gel can sometimes cause. Although we've been completely satisfied with the results of our aloe vera and olive oil concoction, we are still experimenting. We will be trying some other things to find what's best for us. I recently read on Curly Nikki that Esperanza Spaudling uses a mixture of shea butter, cocoa butter, olive oil and tea tree oil for her beautiful afro. I was pleasantly surprised to see that she too uses olive oil. I know that many women with natural hair are using coconut oil. I've never used coconut oil so I can't really say that I prefer one over the other. According the article below, it really just comes down to your hair care needs and preference. Click the link below to read the article. Let me know what you think and what natural products or mixtures you're using on your hair! Is Olive Oil Better Than Coconut Oil on Hair? eHow.com

No Ordinary Hair

2010-08-16T15:50:00.000-05:00

I got my hair flat ironed a few months ago and I was so excited! It had been several years since I'd last worn my hair straight. As I sat in the chair, feeling the steam from the iron warm my scalp, I wondered what I would look like? Would I look like a younger version of myself... you know the pre-natural me... a couple of kids ago me?! I wondered what my husband and my kids would think? Would my one year old son even recognize me? As all these thoughts ran through my head, the time had finally come for me to see my "new" look. My hairdresser turned me around to face the mirror and as I looked into the mirror, I saw someone that looked kinda familiar. The funny thing is... once I saw her, I was actually somewhat disappointed. I realized that I didn't miss her as much as I'd thought. For me, the idea of straight hair was better than the reality of it. Over the past few years my afro has become a big part of who I am. Don't get me wrong, I am not my hair but my hair is part of me!! My afro is an expression of who I am... outgoing, fun, strong, and a little eccentric. With my hair straightened, I felt "ordinary". I felt as though, I blended in with the crowd. I would sometimes forget that my hair was straightened. Then, I'd pass a mirror and feel a little disappointed with the image I saw looking back at me. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying anything negative about women with straight hair. I've seen many women with beautiful relaxed and flat ironed natural hair. I may even opt to get my hair flat ironed again on occassion. I'm just saying... It is no longer an accurate expression of who I am... my image, my style, my attitude. It's just not me anymore. I am far from ordinary therefore, no ordinary hair will do!

Hip Hop Revival

2009-11-07T15:51:00.000-06:00

I love old school hip hop!! I still get hyped when I hear the lyrics "Thinking of a master plan..." or "Don't call it a comeback..." or "Once upon a time not long ago..." I have fond memories of rushing home from school to watch Yo! Mtv Raps! But it's interesting to me how old school hip hop artists were able to create great music with honest narratives on social issues without all the negative elements of the music today. I am still a fan of hip hop in its truest form but I have gotten to a point in my life where I can no longer listen to the vulgarity, misogyny, materialism, and violence in most of the music today.

I am what we call "Grown and Christian". This means I've reached a point of spiritual maturity at which I will no longer engage in certain behaviors. So, when I crave the kick and the snare, the bass, the hook, and rapid fire lyrics... I choose to listen to christian hip hop. Artists like LeCrae, Da Truth, The Ambassador, Flame, and Trip Lee are leading the way with music that spreads the gospel over hip hop beats. Christian hip hop has come a long way. In the past, many of the artists had sub par production and mediocre lyrics that tended to glorify themselves more than God. Boasting and "swagger" has always been a major part of hip hop culture... "I have the dopest lyrics, freshest gear, the tightest girl, the cleanest car, the most money, etc. However, the bible says, Do not let a wise man brag about how wise he is. Do not let a strong man boast about how strong he is. Do not let a rich man brag about how rich he is. But here is what the one who brags should boast about, he should brag that he has understanding and knows me- Jeremiah 9:23-24.

Many of today's christian rappers stay true to the essence of hip hop by providing narratives on social and spiritual issues in the community. Many rap about being raised in single family homes, poverty, past criminal activity, peer pressure, sin, and coveting. Yet, they do this in a manner that does not glorify themselves or their behavior. Instead, they speak about their life experiences in a way that glorifies someone bigger than themselves... the one true King- Jesus. Therefore as it is written: Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord- 1 Corinthians 1:31.

Regarding the article Zahara Jolie Pitt and the Politics of Uncombed Hair by Alison Samuels

2009-11-05T16:49:00.000-06:00

Personally, I think that Zahara’s hair looks fine. I have pics on my blog of my girls with their hair looking very similar. The only thing that I’d suggest is some barrettes, clips, or a headband since she is a little girl. But her hair does not look dry or unhealthy, or tangled and uncombed to me. I wear my hair in an afro. I have 2 daughters 5 and 7, that would love to wear afros as well. But when I let them, within an hour they look as though I didn’t care to comb their hair it that day!! Why? Because little girls mess with their hair… and they roll around while playing and watching tv… and then they lay down for naps, etc. As women, we know that if we lie down our hair will dry out and flatten on one side. And we know that if we keep putting our hands in our hair that it will frizz and stick out in places. I think people are way too critical. Often, they have their own hair issues that they tend to deflect onto others. Also, Ms. Samuels clearly doesn't have a daughter because if she did, she'd see the bigger picture. What are your thoughts? If you have not read the article here's the link below. http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/thehumancondition/archive/2009/10/09/Zahara-Jolie-Pitt-and-the-Politics-of-Uncombed-Hair.aspx

To my Black American Princesses

2009-11-01T18:11:00.000-06:00

Disney has created its first new princess in 11 years and she is coming out this December. Her name is Tiana and she is the first black American Disney princess ever! As a mother of 3 daughters, I am so excited that my girls will finally be able to see themselves in the image of a princess. For the past few years, my girls' 2 favorite princesses have been Ariel and Jazmin. But now, they have one that represents our heritage and looks more like them. As a parent, it is important to me that my children see themselves in the images presented to them in books and on television, etc. It is also important to me that those images be positive. What's more positive then being royalty? After all, that's what we are. I believe that we are royalty, not only as descendants of African kings and queens but also as children of God- the one true King. So, I ask that this holiday season you take the little princesses in your life to see this movie. Also, lets make sure to purchase Princess Tiana merchandise as well. If we don't support this character then she will disappear or become very hard to find. Princess Tiana means a lot to us as a community because black women are often portrayed negatively in the media, if we are represented at all. My girls are 7 and 5, so they are not allowed to watch much more than Disney and Nickelodeon. Nick offers a show called True Jackson VP with Keke Palmer as the lead character. Disney however has had no black female main characters since That's So Raven ended a few years ago. Disney's most popular show currently is Hannah Montana and the show presently has no black characters on it at all. You'd think that Miley would have at least one black friend!!LOL! Especially since in most instances where the main character is black they always seem to have at least one white friend... but I digress. I just want my girls and other young black girls to see the beauty in their own images. I want them to know that they have options. While we can continue to tell them that they have options, we also have to show them. They have to be able to see it in the images presented to them in the media, in the community, and at home. Princess Tiana helps us show and tell our daughters that they too can dream and that they too can be regal.

Pro Choice

2009-10-30T14:31:00.000-05:00

There are so many things that divide us- politics, religion, race, etc. I don't think hair should be one of them. As a black women, I've had the privilege of wearing all kinds of different hairstyles... jheri curl, relaxer, braids, etc. I have worn my hair short and I have worn it long. Currently, I am wearing my hair natural. This means I have no chemicals or extentions in my hair. I chose to go natural because it is convenient, versatile, and maintenance is less expensive. Some women who wear their hair natural criticize others that choose to chemically relax their hair and vice versa. Natural sistas often assume that sistas with relaxed hair are comforming to an european image of beauty. While sistas with relaxed hair sometimes assume that natural sistas are militant nonconformists. It is a women's perogative to wear her hair the way she wants. And the beautiful thing about black women, is that we have unlimited options. We can do things with our hair that white women can't even dream of doing. I'd also like to point out that when a white woman chooses to get a curly perm, her white counterparts with straight hair don't criticize her authenticity or vice versa. Why is it that black women have to critcize one another or put one another down? The truth of the matter is... we don't have to. I don't think I am any more enlightened than anyone else because I wear my hair natural. Neither do I assume that a sista with relaxed hair is any less enlightened. I define what beauty is to me. I set my own trends and I decide what looks "good" to me. And speaking of good... I believe "good hair" is hair that is good for you! Right now, my nappy hair is good for me... the way my fro' stands up and the way it hangs when I twist it. If my hair was straight, I would not be able to wear my fro' and I love the fro'!!LOL!! However, this time next year, I could decide that relaxed or texturized hair is what's good for me... or braids may be good... or maybe I'll want a Beyonce' weave. Who knows? Who cares? The only person that should care to have an opinion about my choice is ME... and maybe my husband!!

Beauti-Fall

2009-10-28T14:37:00.000-05:00

Nature is most beautiful in the fall. Foliage is everywhere in varying hues of yellow, orange, red, and green, brown, dark purple, gold, and copper. Animals have changed into their fall coats of grey, brown, and silver. But just as nature changes into its autumn wardrobe so do we. You can see nature's influence on fall fashion and beauty in the textures and colors of the lastest trends. Fashion and beauty has always been inspired by nature. I truly love the wardrobe of fall. The weather is cooler so you have the opportunity to accessorize and layer like no other time of the year. This allows you to be more creative and personalize your style with hats and scarves, leggings and tights, and jackets or sweaters in various colors, styles, and textures. In the summer, less is more and spring is too transitional. The winter is too cold so you're covered from head to toe just trying to stay warm. And don't get me started on what snow and the salt used to melt snow does to your boots or shoes. I don't like being cold but I like being cool and fall allows me that... literally.